"In my family, there was never a sense of balance, just extremes--poverty and plenty, power and helplessness, violence and an uneasy calm. I longed for balance."
I read today's reading in my Hope for Today book for Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOA) and this struck me as timely: "In my family, there was never a sense of balance, just extremes--poverty and plenty, power and helplessness, violence and an uneasy calm. I longed for balance."
This is exactly how I felt as a child growing up with my alcoholic mother. When I was with living with my grandparents Sunday through Friday, it was so good--plenty of food, lots of love and caring, but always with that unease of the approaching weekend with my alcoholic mother. Then, come Friday I was faced with the other extreme, and it was so bad: my mother would tell me I was "fat like my father" and would put me on a kind of fast (no joke) of prune juice, a shot glass of pepto bismal, and corn flakes with skim milk.
Those were dark days, my friends.
All joking aside, I think this may be the root of my eating issues. The lack of balance between my grandparents' home of plenty and my mother's home of deprivation. I was taught the system of binge-and-purge, and just at this moment made that connection...wow. My mother was teaching me how to be an anorexic bulimic.
I'm grateful for having survived my childhood. I do not need to create a binge-and-purge routine for myself as an adult. I do not have to accept my mother's alcoholic lessons. I can choose to move ahead in a Good Orderly Direction and create balance for myself.
I made mine with caramelized onions instead of broccoli, skipped the shredded cheese, and used coconut oil instead of olive oil. YUM. Here's the recipe.
Today's lunch: Salmon on Caesar salad (no croutons) and an ear of corn.
My life has been permanently altered by this new way of cooking corn on the cob. Check it out.